A Spectre for You

Though I rarely take sides with the people at PETA, I think the "animal-rights" organization needs to be called in for this one. Mike Spalla, the "genius" behind "Jingle Cats," is at it again, exploiting felines (and canines) for his sick and depraved need to cash in on the "holiday season." Seriously people, this is a war against Christmas! Mr. Spalla takes stray cats (and dogs, for his new project), dresses them up, and records them. These animals, without a home, receive no compensation for their talents. Is this not the foulest, most pornographic thing you've ever heard? He gets off doing this, and he gets away with it. And where is PETA now? Probably at some busy intersection in some hippie town showing people, in the tradition of the Pro-Lifers, photos of slaughtered and exploited animals. I eat meat, sure, but making ANYBODY sing Christmas songs, unless they're Run-DMC and they've just got their mitts on the hot track "Christmas in Hollis," should be against the laws of man, animal and Manimal.

People who record Christmas songs know it's an easy way to make some cash because every holiday season, that one annoying and uncreative relative we all have that doesn't know what kind of gift to give reaches deep down inside their vacant imaginations and gets us a Santa Claus tie, Nativity placemats, Menorrah earrings made of pewter or a disc of Kenny G. belting away at "Little Drummer Boy" for 45 minutes. That relative will get you "Jingle Cats," "Jingle Dogs," and, whatever Spalla the Exploiterer comes up with next (what: "Jingle Baby Seals"?), and you'll be the victim of his wicked war against animals.

Do you think Jesus really wants to come back to Earth and listen to this drivel? What would Jesus do? WWJD? He would banish Mike Spalla to hell ... hell, I tell you.

Happy Holidays from Ebeneezer Go-Heavily