Cheap Trick

According to BBSNews, a phenomenon dubbed "robocalls"--telemarketing phone messages sent out by the National Republican Campaign Committee to smear rival Democratic candidates--is "another dirty Karl Rove trick."

Karl Rove, in case you do not know, is the Deputy Chief of Staff to George W. Bush, and is the Republican Party's leading political strategist. He is one of the worst types of people: a brilliant individual who uses his intelligence to secure huge sums of money for the giant corporations whose interests he works to protect at the expense of the lower- and middle-classes who are made to believe the strategies he concocts. He is a cynical politician whose lobbying and political architecture yields real results on real living human beings -- all to line the coffers of the interests he serves. And, for the record, I guarantee you he is not a Christian, though he passes for one at every available photo-op. He just uses the cache Christianity has among post-Reagan Republicans to get them to vote for the war machines he represents.

Okay. I'm done sounding like a run-of-the-mill Democratic candidate running for Senate, Congress or Governor in 2006.

The only reason I'm writing this is because I'm tired of the Democrats blaming every thing that puts them at a disadvantage on Karl Rove. Now, keep in mind, I really dislike Karl Rove. But is he really responsible for "robocalling"? Is he responsible for moving Saddam Hussein's death penalty verdict until the Sunday before Election Day so as to give Bush and the Republicans a subtle boost in the polls? A new book by James Moore and Wayne Slater, whoever they are, claims he is entirely responsible for President Bush winning both presidential elections and that he was able to convince gay Republicans that they are publicly anti-gay (re: Mark Foley). I'm sure he was probably responsible for hooking up the Virginia Republican Senatorial candidate George Allen's campaign with those saucy excerpts from the novels of his Democratic opponent Jim Webb. A new study by Holly Go-Heavily has concluded he's also responsible for global warming, the rising (and falling) prices of unleaded gasoline, Dick Cheney's invincible pacemaker, placing the monolith found on the moon in 2001: A Space Odyssey, the recent collapse at the "Big Dig" in Boston, the tyranny of the New York Yankees over Major League Baseball, the popularity of American Idol, and pop-up ads.

Sure, Karl Rove is brilliant, but there's no way his hands can be in that many pots -- at least pots not filled with fattening foods. (Have you seen the guy? He needs to lose some pounds.)

So, go out and vote tomorrow. Or, don't vote. Why should I care? It's either vote for cynical opportunists (this goes for Democrats and Republicans) who seek to build up their self-esteem by winning a popularity contest for the special interests that will keep them up to their necks in country club memberships and high-priced, plastic-chested, perfectly waxed pussy, or simply opt out of your responsibility as an American citizen. Not much of a choice, huh? The only vote that should count this year is the vote for apathy. Vote for apathy, people. VOTE FOR APATHY BECAUSE ... YOU CARE!!!