Going to the Crystal Ball

It's that time of the year--Gamblin' time. Pull your Kenny Rogers records out of their their jackets and know when to hold 'em and all that shit. The Pittsburgh Steelers wins the Super Bowl in a 13-10 blowout. Most importantly, the nominations for the Always Disappointing Holly Awards, aka the Academy Awards, came out today. Therefore, ladies and germs, I'll ask for your patience as I sift through the major award categories--

Performance by an actor in a leading role
The award goes to: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
The award should really go to: Simon Baker, Land of the Dead

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
The award goes to: William Hurt, A History of Violence
The award should really go to: John Leguizamo, Land of the Dead

Performance by an actress in a leading role
The award goes to: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
The award should really go to: Miranda July, Me and You and Everyone We Know

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
The award goes to: Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain
The award should really go to: Asia Argento, Land of the Dead

Achievement in directing
The award goes to: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
The award should really go to: George A. Romero, Land of the Dead

Best motion picture of the year
The award goes to: Crash (in a surprise)
The award should really go to: Land of the Dead

As you can tell, one great film really got snubbed during this whole process. Oh well, better luck next year. And I predict George W. Bush will say "noo-que-lur" at least 8 times in tonight's State of the Union address. Anybody wanna bet on that?