He will be missed but not mentioned on network news

Unconfirmed rumor has it that Derek Bailey, improvisational guitarist, has passed away in Spain on Dec. 25, 2005. He will be missed by his dedicated fans around the globe. He will certainly be missed the most by the editors of The Wire magazine, who will be losing the subject of about 46.7% of their content. They will be able to get a whole tribute issue out of Bailey's passing, but will then have to scramble to find someone else to write about in every single issue thereafter. Oh, and by the way, don't you dare call him a "jazz guitarist". That's an American idiom. What Europeans play mearely sounds the same and evolved out of the same style, but it has a different name so it's of course something different entirely.

Twapp. shar-sharggg. Twum thwum thumm,,, Twapp. bu-du-daoomm.