Slow-Pitch Hipster Softball

I asked the Paper Cat several times, but he refuses to play on my hipster softball team, Irony & Whine. I won biggest battle of all -- who'd get to play "left field," as hipsters are always striving to be more left-field than each other. Hey, I've got good range out there, and when I refer to V for Vendetta, I'm not talking about that Wachowski Brothers movie or that Alan Moore comic.

One of the least hip people on the team (he actually played a real varsity sport -- baseball -- in high school) suggested we get these shirts. Laaaaaaame. I suggest this one.

Ultimately, though, Irony & Whine needs a ringer. I suggest this fine fine specimen: