21 Questions

The Pipe Bomb Cigarettes are recording their third album, A Tree Falls in the Forest, and are looking for lyrics. The gimmick is that they already have song titles -- all "inspired" by the 50 Cent song "21 Questions" (2003). So, here they are:

1. "Do You Think About Other Women Now that I Have a Malignant Tumor?"
2. "How Can I Get a Job as the Person that Gives Porno Films Their Names?"
3. "Has Anybody Heard the New Scott Stapp Album?"
4. "Why are You the Dumbest Douche this Side of Duluth?"
5. "Is that a Mirror in Your Pants?"
6. "Where's the Beef-Flavored Manischewitz?"
7. "How Do You Get a Donkey to Talk When Its Tongue is Halfway Up Your Ass?"
8. "If the Pipe Bomb Cigarettes' New Album, A Tree Falls in the Forest, Was Leaked onto the Internet, Would Anybody Hear It?"
9. "Doesn't this Song Remind You of 'Damaged I'?"
10. "If You Look Up the Word 'definition' in the Dictionary, What Does It Say?"
11. "Did the Drugs My Parents Took in College Have Something to Do with My Lousy Personality?"
12. "If the Sky was Made of Kites, Would We All Be Strings?"
13. "When Was the Last Time You Treated Me Right?"
14. "Where Were You On the Night of Natalee Holloway's Disappearance?"
15. "Who Was the First Person to Use a Tape Dispenser as a Sex Toy?"
16. "Can I Speak with Mr. Pippi Bomb Cigarettees?"
17. "Are You 18?"
18. "You Haven't Heard Funeral by Arcade Fire Yet?"
19. "Where Have You Been?"
20. "Do I Snore When I Drive?"
21. "Is this Fucking Album Over Yet?"

Post your lyrics in the comments. The Pipe Bomb Cigarettes are hereby granted all copyright permission and all the royalities will go to "us," forthwith. Whatever that all means.