The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

...not. Sorry folks, but Holly is often referred to by people with --the spirit-- as a "bah humbug." Let's hear it for this dude:




I just can't too excited over blinking lights, a corpulent oaf dressed in red (who, by the way, thanks to the chimney clause--ha ha--can't give gifts to the kidz who live in apartments or condominiums), the pointlessly heated debates over whether to call it "the holidays" or "Jesus-po-diddly-pogo-sticking-Christ-mas," the family arguments, the bad music (if I hear "Little Drummer Boy" one more time in my life, I will take hostages), trimming the tree or the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. I don't get it. Are we all babies?

Speaking of Christmas, it is also an excuse to make corny movies like It's a Wonderful Life (1946), A Christmas Story (1983) and any film with Tim Allen where he plays Santa Claus. Recently, I saw The Ice Harvest, which I figured would be good because it stars the next Jesus, Billy Bob Thornton, in a film that is advertised as a dark comedy set on Christmas (perhaps in the spirit of Bad Santa). You all know what a boner Holly has for Billy Bob.

Well, after seeing this film, I have decided to embark on another type of movie boycott. No longer shall I watch films that have both John Cusack AND Billy Bob in them. They were previously in the air traffic controller film Pushing Tin (1999), which sucked total ass and was only notable for a brief glimpse of Angelina Jolie's nipples. Now, The Ice Harvest, which is about as a good as a boil on your eyelid. Plodding storyline, uninteresting characters, weak motivations, etc. Instead, save that ten dollars towards a trip to RoboFrance 29.