Love Sick

Lately, it seems as if all of Holly's hip friends have been falling in love and getting married. Seriously. I'm not saying this out of jealousy or spite. I'm quite proud of all my friends; that they were able to find the right person, fall in love, and take that next giant leap into adulthood.

What concerns me most is that my people are passing me by. What happened to the days of jaded hipster love? Remember, back in the day, when Douglas Coupland's novel Generation X (1991) came out? In it, a character says, "Don't worry, Mother ... If the marriage doesn't work out, we can always get divorced." For many of my (younger) friends today, divorce is simply not an option. It's as if they are all reading a Bible other than the Hipster Bible, aka The Hipster Handbook (1996) by Robert Lanham/God.

Holly has a sweet tooth, and thinks it's sweet when her friends get married. But enough's enough. Admittedly, Holly is a tradionalist. Therefore, Holly doesn't want to hear any more Belle and Sebastian, Joanne Newsom or Sufjan Stevens songs during the processional. Whatever happened to Bach, Chopin or "Here, There and Everywhere"? ... and no more ironic first dance songs like Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" (1980) or Talk Talk's "It's My Life" (1984). Lastly, the bride and groom's Vespa with the recycled coffee cups dragging off the rear fender on the way to the reception ... lame-o. What happened to that ol skool feminist dismissal of weddings because they were ceremonies purposefully constructed by grubby capitalists to reinforce the power of the patriarchy (thereby giving value to what was once meaningless fornication)? Oh well ... all good things must come to an end, I suppose.

So where's my love? It didn't work out with Ann Coulter, who, according to googlism.com, is "our first choice for maximum penetration and performance." You would think somebody would wanna be all up in a lady who is a hot amateur model into voyeurism and has a voice like snow. Speaking of which, the Pipe Bomb Cigarettes are flourishing. Holly just finished writing a song called "Bono Gets Emotional for Me and You." True, ain't it?