I'm Never Gonna Dance Again

Okay, it's war.

The headline reads: IRAN'S PRESIDENT BANS WESTERN MUSIC

Now, I'm a big fan of Hank Williams and Marty Robbins. So any country--represented, of course, by their president--that would willingly ban these great tunes is obviously in need of a militaristic ass-whuppin'.

But, upon further consideration, after reading Nasser Karimi's report, maybe they're on to something. The headline is misleading: they mean music from "the West," not Western music (sorry, Holly was attempting to be funny). The headline should read: IRAN'S PRESIDENT HAS SURPRISINGLY GOOD TASTE.

Karimi writes, "Songs such as George Michael's 'Careless Whisper,' Eric Clapton's 'Rush' and the Eagles' 'Hotel California' have regularly accompanied Iranian broadcasts, as do tunes by saxophonist Kenny G." No wonder Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hates the West so much. Those songs do suck stinky hog cock. And, by the way, Ahmadinejad's also a crazy little fuck.