Paranoid

Last weekend, I went record shopping. For some reason, I was in the mood to listen to some cheesy French music. Lo and Behold! I found a copy of the album pictured above ... and voila (dig my francais), my need was satisfied.

First things first, I don't speak French. But Holly, you ask, I thought you were a French-Canadian chest-thumper. That's true, but after seeing this one Julie Andrews classic on TV the other day, I became fully Americanized: in other words, monolingual. I now speak only one language--English.

Remember a few years ago when everybody was mesmerized by Sigur Ros? I was one of them, but always felt uncomfortable giving them a hearty thumbs up because I couldn't understand what they were saying. But Holly, you point out, you like My Bloody Valentine's Loveless (1991), and you can't hear a single word on that album. What can I say? Good point.

But I always get the impression, especially when I hear people speaking in languages (read those that aren't English) that I don't understand, that I'm being personally insulted. For instance, here is my translation, albeit an idiosyncratic one, of the first verse from Francoise Hardy's "Je Veux Qu'il Revienne" (a.k.a. "Holly Obviously Forgot Her Medication"):

[original lyrics]

je sais bien pourtant le mal qu'il a pu me faire
mais c'est lui que j'aime
je me rappelle aussi tout ce que j'ai déjà souffert
je veux qu'il revienne
pour ne plus avoir à souffrir
j'ai cru qu'il valait mieux partir
sans lui j'ai trop de peine
je veux qu'il revienne

[Holly's completely unofficial translation]

Holly, even Christ would have aborted you
You were obviously an incest victim
That's right, a brother and sister
Made sweet sweet dirty love
And you were born one of their hideous brood
Did your aunt, er, I mean mother
Drop you on your face when you were a kid?
By the way, you totally totally suck

Not that I care what ya'll really think about me or anything ... But if anybody out there speaks French, or took it in college, let me know how close my translation really is.