Boys don't cry

Holly, you, and all our female readers, may not be aware what goes on behind closed doors. Not the kind of closed doors Charlie Rich sang about. No, I'm taking about bathrooms. Those places where men's souls are written on the walls. I think Yogi Berra said that, or maybe Baudelaire. So you may have little idea about the concept of a trough. You could get a better idea if you snuck into a restroom at Wrigley Field.


Or perhaps you prefer a corner model:


You won't be washin' no potatoes in these those troughs. Certainly not (unless maybe you are in Alcatraz). What you can do is pee standing up into them. And you can do it with a whole bunch of your close personal friends--or a bunch of perfect strangers!

Of course, there are some rules of thumb you might want to be aware of before you go to take a look inside, past the closed doors.

(1) You don't just stand right up next to someone. After all, it's about peeing standing up. We are still civilized (well, maybe not your Lexicon Devil chainsaw guy)! With individual urinals, you don't pick the middle of three. You pick an end, and the next guy leaves a space in between. The same basic principle applies to the trough.

(2) Just like hide-and-go-seek, there is no peeking. Eyes forward pervert. This isn't something perfectly acceptable like sleeping in bed with small children. I suppose you could sneek a look at Dick's Cheney. I'm not sure he is human (ever see Conan O'Brien show the clip of his entrance, complete with smoke effects?).

(3) Two wags. More than that, and you might not be in there to pee. I will not comment further on this.