Atomic Dog

I found this story in the May 23, 2005 edition of the Washington Post Express--no joke:

A St. Louis dog owner is protesting the city's attempt to force him to neuter his dog, saying the Bible says the move would prevent his pet from going to heaven, KSDK-TV reported. The city took control of the animal two weeks ago after it escaped from its yard and was picked up by animal control. Owner Oran Ambus was given until Saturday to neuter the 9-month-old Rottweiler, as dictated by a city ordinance requiring strays to be spayed or neutered before they're returned to their owners. Ambus maintained that the ordinance violated his religious freedom.

[Note: The Washington Post, Inc. owns Newsweek. Given their reputation for retracting news stories, I'm not entirely sure this one is legitimate.]

According to Deuteronomy from the King James Bible, "Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God" (Deuteronomy 23:18). Truer words were never ejaculated. However, in Judges, it says, "Thou shalt not descecrate the jewels of the hounds, for without them, thou shalt not enter unto the Lord's house" (Judges 22:13). The Bible is one interesting book, that's for sure. I'm hoping that the Lord is kind enough to let Oran Ambus's dog into heaven, regardless of its reproductive capabilities. I wonder if that cult Turtledaub was considering joining would let neutered dogs into heaven?

PS. I'm giving a shout-out to my internet love-slave toocuteforradio ... indeed!

PPS. Cat, you might want to name your soccer team:
a) So, then, what are my opposable thumbs for in this game?
b) I Get No Kicks from Cocaine
c) Pele Lady Lay