Fake Plastic Mlamlamla

Sorry kiddies for the long absence. The Paper Cat and myself were "removed" from our "previous situation" and "debriefed" by "attorneys working for the 'government.'" The Paper Cat will talk more about this delicate situation when he "returns from vacation." And no, this is not a "cypher" [wink, wink!!].

The only really important thing that has happened to civilization since last we spoke has been its very decline, aka the continued attention paid to American Idol. I've seen one episode ever about three years ago (my predictable quick capsule review: it sucked ... hard), so I cannot be called an "expert" on these "important matters" which I'm repetitively referring to in "quotations."

But since I am an American, I just happen to be aware of the current controversy surrounding "singer" Sanjaya Malakar. Apparently he's quite bad, but keeps winning because of his looks (I, for the record, am pleased to see a young man of Bengali/Italian American descent causing so many young hearts to swoon) and because of a website called Vote for the Worst which seems to be a hilarious attempt to sabotage the show.

More intriguing perhaps is the claim by the show's main draw, Simon Cowell, that he "won't come back" to the show if Malakar wins.

If Cowell leaves the show, it will cease to be watched and it will get canceled, destined to be forgotten like some of these pop icons from the past 50 years: Bobby Sherman, Tab Hunter, Leif Garrett, Tiffany, Tony DiFranco, Fabian and Debbie Gibson.

Vote for Sanjaya!

Then we Americans can get the television programming we deserve.